Women Work?

Throughout my short career, I have had a pretty strong sense that women work harder than men.  This is not some nutty, femi-nazi statement meant to piss off old, white guys.  This is merely an observation I have made over the years, working on Friday nights, or any weekday night for that matter.  Or even weekend!  When you look around, there is nothing left but women.

This has never really frustrated me, unless I found out that the first dude to bail had a larger salary than I do.  Then IT WOULD PISS ME OFF! 

That said, I also think women are immensely more efficient than men.  Mostly because professional women don’t spend the time to bullshit with each other.  So in that regard, here is a recent photo a girlfriend of mine sent me (I call her ‘mini-me’.).  Enjoy!



Extracurricular activities

I don’t get it.  I am a married, female executive.  Will somebody explain to me WHY NOW all these men feel compelled to hit on me?  I am perplexed.  I don’t want to sound conceited or full of myself.  It’s not that I think I am that great, by any means.  In fact, I have put on a significant amount of weight since my single days…  But here is the simple fact:  right now, if I felt so behooved to cheat on my husband, I can choose one of four men to hop in the sack with at any moment.

Again, I ask:  what the hell is that?

When I was single, I was running, significantly thinner and not working nearly as much.  I was way more available, physically and figuratively.  But for some reason now I have these dudes hitting on me via e-mail or text message (gotta love modern technology), which just blows my mind.  I absolutely do NOT get it.

Let’s try some statistical  & theoretical analysis here:

1)  Stat #1:  Three are married and one is single.

I am wondering if once you get married, the other bored married men start to do some extracurricular outreach?  Is that it?  Maybe they figure you are less likely to show up at their house confronting their wife if you have your own gig going?  Where a single woman might? 

Again, what the hell is that?

2)  Stat #2:  I am President of my company.

Somebody told me once that I have a renewed confidence in my new position that I was missing before and that confidence is attractive.  Is that it?  Is that all I needed back in my single days?  Some imaginary confidence I didn’t know existed in the first place?

3)  Stat #3:  I work with all of these men in one capacity or another.

So is it a professional thing?  Again, I don’t consider myself hot.  The only guys trying to hit on me at random sighting are usually drunk, homeless guys I see walking the streets of downtown.  I never get any random stranger approaching in say, a restaurant, telling me I am so beautiful he can’t stand it.

But that shit comes over text message after somebody gets to know me.

Again, what the hell is that?

4)  Stat #4:  These guys are all out of town, and I only see one of them on a routine basis.

So distance must be a safety factor?  It’s not like dudes in my immediate area are coming after me.  All of these guys are over 2-3 hours in driving distance from me.  Which is good, since this minimizes the chances of a drunken encounter! 

If there are any women out there that know what the hell I am talking about, please chime in.  And I will take any advice you have available!  Because while I find it immensely flattering, it is also immensely annoying.


Wisdom from the Past

 “Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of our husbands.  Remember all men would be tyrants if  they could. … If particular care and attention is not paid to the Ladies we are determined to forment a Rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any Laws in which we have no voice, or Representation.” 

– Abigail Adams, letter to John Adams, March 31, 1776

Almost 250 years ago, women realized the need to have an equal say in society and saw the misgivings of their male counterparts.  (Shocker, I know.)

What surprises me the most in this quote are the strong words she uses in saying that women will not be bound by rules they did not set.  Those were strong words for the time, but necessary nonetheless.

This quote reminds me a bit of my two previous posts — as in why should I participate in these preconceived notions of how to live my life, when I never had any say in how those notions were created?

“If you ever had kids, it would be a ‘travesty.'”

That’s right.  One of my board members told me that, in the early days of this job.  And silly me, I thought male chauvinism was only in a$$ backwards places, like in the South. 

Welcome to California!

When I decided to take this job, it was a tough decision.  The position was to become Vice President of an organization on the brink of folding.  The VP had to train under the outgoing President for 18 months, who wasn’t exactly known for his eternal optimism.  He is the closest human embodiment to “The Grinch” that I can imagine.  I would be the first female Exec of the organization, after a long list of old, white guys….  In a very conservative industry, to boot.  However, the pay increase was substantial and the chance to see if I could grow an organization was risky, but an attractive challenge nonetheless.

When I decided to leave, it was not about the money.  My former place of employment was a place I loved.  But personal & professional growth was pretty much maxed-out.  There were two deal-makers for me:

#1:  When I chatted to my boss about my possibility of leaving, I was told I could be easily replaced. 

#2:  When I spoke to a person on the Board of Directors that I trusted of my current organization, he assured me it was the right decision to move and he vehemently supported the existing Exec…  Amid major concerns about his performance throughout the industry, here was a guy who was supporting him to the end.  His support was immensely attractive to me, especially given the conversation I just had with my previous boss. 

I took the job.  Within six months of becoming President, the same supportive guy in statement #2, told me “if you ever have kids, it would be a travesty.”  I remember the word “travesty” because it is such a dramatic statement, and a word that I never use.  I only responded “well, you don’t have to worry about that in the immediate future.” 

Now here I am, in my late 30s, thinking about having kids.  This comment was made under two years ago.  I am assuming his opinions haven’t changed.  I am scared sh&#less about telling my Board.  This guy (we will call him #2) is on my executive committee.  Puke, puke, puke.

His poor attitude will not deter me.  If I am able, I will have kids.  Screw that guy.  I am just nervous about telling him.  UGH!

This organization is so outdated, that I had to draft an employee handbook from scratch.  I can’t even remember what our maternity leave policy is at this point.  I am guessing it is equivalent to California’s minimum standard, which is six weeks.  I think I deserve more, so I get to negotiate this with my Chairman.  Maybe that is a way to break the ice.  I should figure this out before I get preggars!  What do you think?  HA!

Anyway, I want to list the blow-by-blows so I can remember them as I move through life.  Because they are just as important as the wins in life.  Maybe more important, even.  This is how you grow.

Rebellious One

Why “Rebellious One”?  I chose this name because whenever anybody tells me to do something — and for some reason, this happens alot — I want to do EXACTLY the opposite.  Almost immediately.  This ranges from my husband telling me to get more wood for the fire to my Board of Directors telling me I need to grow our organization.  In both instances the moments proceeding these comments I was actually thinking the same thing and planning it out.  But the very moment somebody SAYS to do it, I immediately want to say no! 

What the hell is that?

I don’t know what it is, but I imagine it is the same trait that makes me successful.  If I stayed at my previous job, that was safe, I would be bored out of my mind by the slow pace of bureaucracy and still spinning my wheels due to the same frustrations. 

Let’s hope at some point in my life I gather the maturity to finally shelve that immediate need to tell somebody to take a flying leap.